I Said Yes! And Then…
A really interesting thing happened to me today.
I belong to this fantastic MasterMind that includes an accountability group to keep participants accountable for tasks to grow their business. My group is full of business veterans of the Mastermind along with a few newbies like me. Although I realized the value of this feature, I had a LOT of resistance getting to the meeting and to the accountability part. Some weeks, I was feeling not as good at business as everybody else in the group. (Oy! That bane of my existence called self-doubt at work undermining me again.)
Other weeks, I was feeling like a bad girl because I did not complete whatever tasks I had declared for myself the week before. (Old beliefs: Bad girls who don't complete their tasks must hang their heads in shame and CERTAINLY NOT show up for accountability group! New beliefs: Accountability is not for judgement or shame. It is a safe place to celebrate tasks completed and challenge oneself to stretch and grow in order to complete tasks that didn't get done.)
Last week, I renewed my contract to stay in the MasterMind for another year. I decided to attend the welcome meeting for the new participants entering the MasterMind. I was excited to experience the meeting with beginners mind to deepen my experience in my second year. As we were going through the features of the MasterMind and we got to the accountability group feature, I heard my mentor invite those of us in the meeting who were already in the MasterMind to consider leading an accountability group. Well, no one was more surprised than I was when I heard myself volunteer.
WHAT?!?!?!
After the meeting, I took myself aside to try and figure out why the heck I decided to say yes to this. I came up with the following (after a good freak out):
If I am leading the group, there is no way I don't show up. No matter what.
If I am leading the group, odds are I am going to complete tasks declared if only to be a good example.
Leading means you go first. Not necessarily that you are smarter or stronger.
All accountability groups are lead by students and the group will probably consist of new people beginning the MasterMind, so I will be a bit further down the path.
(This clinched it for me!) If I am leading the group, my mentor believes in me and I must have what it takes to do it.
Ok, so today I got an email confirming that I would be invited to the accountability group leader training and....
(Drum roll, please. Or actually, that scary music they play in the movies when things are not what you think they are going to be)....
I am going to be leading the same group I have been in for the last year. AH!!!!!!!!! Gut-clench....holy sh**t!!! You mean I have to lead all those amazing Biz Veterans in my current group. Not the new students?!?!?
Oh boy! My mind immediately started to scramble for a way out. My body clenched as though a tiger had just jumped out of a tree ready to eat me. Then I took a deep breath and called the office to say there had been a BIG mistake. The dear woman on the other end of the phone is the head of operations and my mentor's right hand. She explained why that decision had been made and helped me reframe it in my head. I heard myself say yes to this opportunity again and I hung up the phone.
As I write today, I honestly don't know why I said yes to this. I don't know how this new role as accountability group leader will unfold in my life. I don't know how my current group participants will react to me as their new leader.
What I do know is that it scares me a little, which means I will have to stretch and grow as I step into it.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
What new roles do you want to step into?
What have you been wanting to say yes to that scares you a little?
Whatever it is, know that I am right here with you, holding space for you to stretch and grow.